Knowing Who You Are

The Movie "Eat Pray Love" is based
upon an individual's search to find
herself. A growing number of
people spend much of their time
wondering who they really are and
what their real life purpose is
meant to be.
We in general live a life of luxury.
There is little real hardship in the
way that we live in the Western
world today. We have more money,
more creature comforts and a
greater ability to pursue myriad
activities both near to home and far
away. When you are being deprived
of basic necessities in life your focus
inevitably remains glued to the task
of survival; one doesn't have time
to luxuriate in ponderings about
who you are or what your life's
purpose is. Your purpose is simply
focused upon staying alive.
And so the more comfort you have
in your life the more time you
inevitably have with which to focus
your attention upon things of a
more philosophical nature.
Ironically the more we have the
more dissatisfied we appear to
become as we simply move our focus
on to different things. When, I
wonder, will we as a community
finally appreciate what we have got
and allow ourselves to enjoy a
feeling of balance and satisfaction
in our lives?
Julia Roberts, in this movie, sets out
on a course to find herself which
takes her to Rome, India and Bali
over the course of a year. In Rome
she learns to enjoy food for its
taste and not worry about calories
or weight gain. She also learns to
make platonic friends and to live
alone instead of constantly being in
one relationship or another. She's
not totally at one with this new
experience, but she's apparently
learning from it.
In India she learns to meditate and
to further relax her thoughts, to a
certain degree. She feels a little
more centered but still knows that
her journey is not complete. On she
moves to Bali. Here she has to face
a challenge; can she enter a close
relationship without losing herself
once more?
I'm sure that many people could
empathize with several of the
emotional tussles which were being
expressed in this movie. Many
people wonder who they are or
what they should be doing. Many
more wonder where their soul mate
is and how they are ever going to
find them. Some people shy away
from relationships because they feel
they will lose themselves if they
were to commit; others throw
themselves into one relationship
after another and find themselves
molding their habits and behaviors
to whoever they are with.
All of these scenarios reflect a
certain amount of emotional
conflict, instability or insecurity.
The quest to find oneself frequently
takes people away from home, in
search of peace and quiet and
tranquility. The fact remains that
you find this peace only when your
mind becomes peaceful; this does
not necessarily mean you have to
go away so as to find peace.
Having said this, sometimes one
finds it easier to totally change
their environment so as to break
old habits. The thing to remember
though is that you generally have
to go home at some point and still
have to take the peace which you
have found back home with you too.
Otherwise you have not achieved
any long term resolution to
emotional turmoil or insecurities.
And when it comes to relationships,
if you have really found your
peace, and found yourself, you will
not fear losing yourself. You will
feel confident and secure in being
one of two whole people who share
a relationship as opposed to being
one small fraction of a whole. Fears
are only ever borne from your own
chosen (although often
unconsciously so) perception of a
situation.
An alternative approach to finding
yourself is to take time examining
your thought processes and
expectations in life and then focus
upon ways in which you could think
more powerfully and productively.
To feel balanced and satisfied in life
you have to learn to feel happy
with yourself as you are, to stop
comparing yourself to others and
instead to feel confident being you.
Roseanna Leaton, specialist in
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confidence easily.
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